Before I became a parent, I imagined that having my baby’s grandparents around would be pure bliss. Built-in babysitters! A fountain of wisdom! Endless love for my little one!
What I didn’t expect? The opinions. So. Many. Opinions.
“You should put cereal in the bottle so they sleep through the night.”
“You’re holding them too much, you’ll spoil them!”
“We never used car seats in my day, and you turned out fine.”
Cue the deep breaths.
If you’ve ever found yourself gritting your teeth while trying to politely ignore unsolicited advice from well-meaning grandparents, you’re not alone. Navigating different parenting ideas, especially when they come from people you love, can be tricky. But after a few frustrating (and, let’s be honest, hilarious) experiences, I’ve learned a few things about how to keep the peace while still parenting your way.
Step 1: Remember, It Comes From Love
This was the hardest one for me to accept at first. When my mom insisted that my baby needed socks indoors (even though it was 30°C outside!), it felt like she was questioning my parenting. But here’s the thing, most grandparents aren’t trying to undermine us.
They’re just doing what they know. They raised us using the methods that made sense back then. And now, they love our little ones so much that they can’t help but share what they believe is “best.”
Once I started seeing their advice as love rather than criticism, it became a lot easier to handle.
Photo by Marcell Pálmai – Pexels
Step 2: Choose Your Battles
Not every disagreement needs to turn into a full-blown debate. Some things? Not worth the energy.
Example: My mother-in-law thinks babies should always wear hats, even indoors. I used to argue about it, but now? I just let her put the hat on when she’s around. It makes her happy, and it doesn’t actually affect anything.
But some things do matter, like car seat safety, feeding choices, or sleep safety. If it’s a non-negotiable for me, I stand my ground. The key is knowing when to smile and nod (hats) and when to politely but firmly enforce my rules (safe sleep practices).
Step 3: Set Boundaries, Gently, But Clearly
I learned this lesson the hard way. In the beginning, I’d let things slide, thinking, It’s just this once. But “just this once” quickly became “every time,” and suddenly, I found myself constantly frustrated.
So, I started using gentle but firm statements like:
“We appreciate your advice, but we’ve decided to do things this way.”
“I know things were different back then, but this is what works for us now.”
“We’re following the latest safety guidelines, and this is what’s recommended.”
Tone is everything. If I sounded defensive, it only made things worse. But when I stayed calm and confident, it helped set the expectation that this is how we do things.
Photo by Exergen Corporation – Pexels
Step 4: Give Them a Role That Works for Everyone
Grandparents want to feel involved, and sometimes, disagreements happen because they feel left out. Instead of shutting them down completely, I try to find ways to include them that don’t clash with my parenting style.
If they love feeding baby but I don’t want them introducing random foods, I let them be in charge of bringing fresh fruit for snacks.
If they insist on bedtime stories but get my baby too excited before bed, I ask them to read during the day instead.
If they want to buy all the toys, I gently suggest books or experiences instead.
Giving them a “grandparent job” that aligns with my parenting makes everyone happy.
Image by Marjon Besteman from Pixabay
Step 5: Let Go of Perfection
I’ll be honest, sometimes, my baby’s grandparents do things differently than I would. They let her stay up a little too late when babysitting. They give one too many snacks. They sing off-key lullabies.
And you know what? It’s okay.
Because at the end of the day, my child is surrounded by people who love them. And as long as the big things are respected (safety, health, boundaries), I try to let the little things slide.
After all, some of my favorite childhood memories come from time spent with my own grandparents. And I want my child to have that same joy, even if it means accepting a few “old-school” parenting quirks along the way.
Final Thoughts
Parenting alongside grandparents is not always easy, but it doesn’t have to be a constant battle. By picking my battles, setting clear boundaries, and remembering that it all comes from love, I’ve learned to navigate the tricky family dynamics without losing my mind.
And hey, if all else fails? A well-timed “Oh, I’ll think about that!” works wonders.
Have you had any funny or frustrating experiences with grandparents and their parenting advice? Share in the comments, I’d love to hear your stories!
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